***Note: This is a rant post. A long and wordy rant post. Please feel free to skip if you’re not interested. ***
I’m struggling with two women in my life right now, both coworkers who I would deem friends if they weren’t so fucking crazy.
The problem is, they’re both negative people. And they want sympathy from me. Which I usually have in spades, but right now I’m pregnant and slightly emotional and in constant pain and stressed out. To say I don’t give a shit about their problems would be an epic understatement.
Let’s tackle coworker A:
She’s got a good heart, but some serious past issues have left her in the present with major anger issues. ANY little thing that happens to her is magnified by 100%, and when she’s angry, she literally quakes. She’s a quaking pile of rage, y’all. I’ve often smiled and said “Good Morning!” and her response would be a tirade about so and so who didn’t do this, and didn’t do that!! She sees nothing wrong with it either! She’s not one to apologize, she’s always right of course. We had a standoff one time, where she snapped at me for no reason (I think I was once again just saying hello) and I called her out on it. She insisted that she wasn’t snapping at me and if she were snapping I’d know it.
For the sake of being professional at work, I simply walked away from her and mentally wrote her off. I’ve never been one to need to make best friends at work, and wasn’t about to lose any sleep on not having to deal with her anymore. She realized her error quick and spent the next week being SUPER nice to me. Like, uncharacteristically nice to me (but never apologized). I forgave her because it’s easier to deal with a friendly person at work than a non friendly, but I never forgot the situation and keep it surface level with her now.
A few weeks after I hurt my back, she hurt hers. The difference between how each of us handled the situation is astounding. I’m a firm believer at leaving your problems at the door when you come to work, and so I hobbled around with a friendly smile plastered on my face as I worked never mentioning my back (or the hobble), despite wanting to cry in the bathroom at the excruciating pain that was radiating throughout my lower body. Coworker A, on the other hand, would hobble by my desk and openly complain about her back. She knew I was having back trouble too, so maybe that’s why she thought I would understand and give a fuck.
But I didn’t. I’m sorry, but go find a healthy person to complain to please. Not the pregnant lady who’s operating on limited amounts of sleep from working a 60 hour week while in excruciating pain and unable to take anything but extra strength Tylenol. All of my sympathy chips have been given out, did you miss the memo sweetie?
Her boss sits behind me, so she’s constantly at my desk waiting for him to free up so she can talk to him. Which means I’m often subjected to listening to a rant about whatever it is that’s pissing her off at the moment. Doesn’t matter if I’m having a bad day, or if I’m tired, or depressed, or feeling weepy for no reason. I’m there, she has a rant, therefore I have to listen.
Coworker B is completely different. She’s clingy, a needy person by nature. Her husband (who is unbelievably creepy for too many reasons to list in this post) works in the same department as us. She’s on my left, Mr. Creepster is on my right. Fucking fantastic. Coworker B is another person I would consider a true friend if she wasn’t so warped. She’s almost 40 years old, hates her job and secretly wants kids even though Mr. Creepster has made it perfectly clear that he is happy being child free. FOR-EVAH. So she’s currently unhappy and unable to cope meaning she’s grasping at anyone who will give her attention to lean on.
You would think that since her HUSBAND works with her (like, literally across the aisle) she would lean 1000% on him. But not only is he creepy, he’s a bit selfish and insensitive (yeah, a real winner there). And in her futile efforts not to look weak to him, she looks outside of her marriage for support.
*Sigh* Look, side note? If you say vows of ’till death do us part’ to someone, and you can’t be open, raw and vulnerable with them for as long as you need to be….you’re doing marriage wrong. Just sayin. Makes me appreciate my husband that much more.
Anyway, Coworker B and I are vent buddies. When one of our bosses is up our ass, we vent. When something work related goes haywire, we vent. It’s fun, there’s coffee involved, etc. We often vent about home life too, sometimes, because that’s what women do. Men are idiots, tiny penises, you get the drift.
Her problem is that she’s become EVEN more clingy since I’ve started working overtime. That means I’m actually really fucking busy. I’m not at my desk, I’m hobbling around on my good leg trying to impress my boss and my boss’s boss. She walks by wherever I am with puppy dog eyes (seriously). She sends emails to me that she misses me and will be glad when the project is over. Not because she’s worried about my well being. But because when I’m back she’ll have someone to vent to again. Someone who looks like they give a fuck.
I’d like to say”‘No, Coworker B, I don’t care that you’re tired…by the way….are you fucking kidding me? I’m almost 6 months pregnant, hobbling around on one leg, and working until midnight every night including weekends and you’re tired????. Also, no I don’t care that you’re having a ‘stressful day’. I don’t care. Find someone else to sympathize with.”
When I told her I was going on bed rest, she actually looked horrified (but tried to cover it up). I knew what she was thinking. First the project, and now this? When will I get my friend back? Never mind the fact that I was GOING ON FUCKING BED REST FOR EXCRUCIATING PAIN THAT MEANT I COULDN’T WALK. You know, details. It irritated me that her first thought was about herself. Selfish people amaze me. Since I’ve been on bed rest, she’s emailed me multiple times, called me, texted me wanting to know if I could chat, etc. So far I’ve dodged most communication with her.
On top of all of that, she’s made it weird since I’ve gotten pregnant. She asks about the pregnancy and her and her creeper husband comment all the time on my lack of weight gain (and the fact that I’m barely showing). When I first found out I was pregnant she started telling me she was suddenly having nightmares about having children.
I’ll let that soak in.
Nightmares. About having children.
“Gosh! I had another nightmare!” she would chirp as I swayed by the coffee machine clutching the only small cup of coffee I could have that day, trying to keep my breakfast down. She would tell me she dreamed she had a baby and it was too overwhelming for her, horrible for her, stressful for her. Her stories would end with, “Ugh! I don’t think I could ever have kids! Can you imagine?”
Um. Ok. Thanks for sharing?
Recently, she offered to buy me a coffee and I accepted. As we waited, she gave a dramatic sigh, turned to me and said, “I’m so tired! Ugh! Can you imagine if I was pregnant?” She didn’t follow that up with “I don’t know how you do it.” or “You deserve a cookie.” Nope. And she was dead serious.
I’m actually dreading going back to work because of these two. They are emotionally draining…and I’m not good with dealing with emotions. I’m a grin and bear it type of gal. Cry in the shower or in the car on your way home. Keep that shit to yourself, you know? The fact that I can’t get away from them bothers me. It means I have to constantly overcompensate my being positive at work to offset their negativity. And I’m not sure how much more I can take before I stop them mid sentence and say, “You know what? I don’t care. Fuck off.”
Ok, I’m done now.